


Shelter of Sins

by Red_as_Snow



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Family Bonding, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Manipulative Ben Solo, Naive Rey, Rey Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Sibling Incest, Slow Burn - to hell, Younger woman//Older man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-25 06:20:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30084768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_as_Snow/pseuds/Red_as_Snow
Summary: Little Rey has always dreamed of a family that would love her unconditionally. Fortunately a nice family finally picks her. Her parents are the best people she ever met and she even got a brother. He likes to teach her things since she is so new to family life. Ben is really protective of her too.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!  
> I'm new to fanfiction, well fanfiction writing. I've read probably thousands by now if not more. I wanted to write my own since forever and now is the time. Life is too short.  
> Fair warning: I like pretty dark things, mental and physical aspects included.  
> First chapter is short, following chapters will be longer and heavier.

She couldn’t believe that someone wanted her. Her whole life she was stuck in the orphanage, always too old or too skinny or too uh-she’s-a- girl to be adopted. But now that she was sitting in the backseat of this enormous car looking up at a beautiful house, the closeness, the reality of it all finally started to make her believe in goodness that may still exist in the galaxy, in the universe, and she somehow managed to find a small piece of it for herself.

She was swept out of her musing by the car throttling to a stop. Her adopted parents, Han and Leia were seated front and chatting, but now they both turned toward her and smiled. They were a bit older that what she imagined her future parents to be, but were extremely nice people, so it didn’t matter. Leia’s eyes were very gentle, and her hair always looked super elegant. Han was very funny and always made her feel like they knew each other since forever.  
‘How do you like the house Rey? This is our home, your home now. Leia and I are very happy to finally have you with us, we always wanted a daughter and finally we found you.’ - Said Han, while he squeezed his wife’s hand. She could see tears forming in Leia’s eyes.

‘Oh, let’s get you inside Rey, sweety. I can’t wait to show you around!’ – Leia said tearily while opening the door on her side, and Han and Rey did the same. At least she tried, but Hun beat her to it, and the door was wide open for her. Climbing outside, Rey stared up at the huge house, more accurately, their shared home. The orphanage, where she lived until now compared to this looked like it was built a millenia ago from scavenged, tattered garbage. The whole building was two story high with windows littering all over the front and a dark grey paint decorating the walls, a bit dark Rey thought, but still beautiful. The door was secured with a grate and it looked safe if not a bit intimidating for her. She felt so small.

‘Honey, don’t just stand there, get inside! ‘– Leia said turning to her and tucked Rey’s hand in hers leading her through the door. Han carried her single pale blue suitcase in, closing the door behind them.  
The interior was just as magnificent as the exterior. Everything was in perfect order she has never seen before, just like in the magazines the younger ones in the orphanage got when they were taught about how to behave in a “normal” house behaving like “normal kids” for their foster parents. She stole several glances at them back then, but after a while it was just getting her anxious that she wouldn’t ever be in a home like that, so she stopped. Now her dream has become true, and it was so much more than she could have ever dreamed of.

She nervously tiptoed to the coat rack Leia motioned her to hang out her once-white and several size too big coat. It was her only other belonging apart from the other clothes she had on, worn jeans, sneakers and a dark blue turtle neck. Her parents died when she was 6 month old and never inherited anything from them. The orphanage could not afford many niceties either, but it was fine, she was not picky, and always kept her things clean and fairly in good condition.  
‘How do you like it so far sweety?’ – asked Leia when she finished pulling of her shoes too.

‘Is it anything like you imagined? We made some minor changes for you to be more comfortable, but I know that the coloring and the furniture is a bit darkish and menacing looking for a little girl like you. I’m sure you would love your room though.’ ‘We renovated it for you, made it more appropriate for the little lady, lighter colors, furry rug, full wardrobe and whatnot.’ – shrugged Han, while he guided her toward the living room and pointed to a set of stairs which were next to a long corridor going to the back of the house.  
‘This is the living room, the kitchen is over there, and the hallway leads to our room and a bathroom, and the staircase leads to the second floor. That’s where your bedroom is, honey. And your brother’s too. His name is Ben, I’m sure you remember him. He will be home soon and we’ll be whole as a family.’ – Leia was bubbling with excitement, her earlier tears long forgotten. 

‘Please Rey, call us mom and dad. I know it’s not going to come all of a sudden, but we’d love you to consider us your flesh and blood. No one can take you from us now, I swear. You don’t have to go back to that sad place ever again.’ – Leia, her mom, said, and hugged her in the middle of their spacious living room. Behind her she could see two or three family photos on the wall. Her parents and Ben, her new brother.  
Of course she remembered Ben. He was their son, he was studying psychiatry at a university Rey never heard of, not that she heard of any. Orphans did not get too much opportunity to see colleges and stuff like that.

Ben was very tall. And he always wore dark clothes, in the pictures and also when they met for the first time. And had a deep voice that always got everyone’s attention if he was in a room, hers included. However, Rey didn’t need to hear him to know if he was in the same room as her. His mere existence from the day they first met was enough for Rey to feel some kind of special force that got her attention whenever he was there, like they belonged together even before the adoption. She knew it was weird.  
‘Ohh darling, don’t overwhelm our daughter on her first day with so much talking and getting emotional. Come now Rey, I’ll show you to your room’- Han said with a chuckle and started for the stairs with her stuff and Rey obediently trailing behind him. Leia – her mother – stayed behind and headed for the kitchen, probably to make something for dinner. 

A family dinner, with real food, not microwaved from a can or reheated takeout.  
From the stairs she could see outside through one of the huge windows. It was a long day, and it was getting dark if the weakening light from outside was any indicator. Upstairs was also a bit dark, but dad switched on the light right away.

‘Here, my sweet girl, is your room.’ – Han stand before her and opened a door on her right at the end of the short corridor.  
The view that was waiting for her at the other side of the door was far more than she could have ever asked for regarding her sleeping arrangements. Well, she only ever asked for a family and a little home, but this was otherworldly, truly unbelievable. The walls were soft pink with a huge bed situated at the left side of the room with a rounded window occupying the wall opposite the door. On the right side there was a desk and a comfy-looking office style chair, and a little armchair near the window. Near the bed was a nightstand and a huge wardrobe with a mirror on it. She never had a mirror before, they do not have those at the orphanage because of shattered glass in not good for health reasons and also means bad luck, that was what the Matron always said.

‘We didn’t know what you would like, so I hope it is okay, maybe later you and your mother can talk about some renovation, if you’d like. I was against the pink, but you know her, she is a fierce little thing.’ – he said chuckling.  
‘Oh no-no-no, this is perfect, I mean it’s more than perfect, it’s everything to me. Thank you, ..d-dad.’ – She hugged him suddenly with all the emotion that she was bottling up till now. He was not as tall as Ben, but still she reached maybe a few inches above his navel.  
Now all of the last few month and years emotions escalated into a bit of a sobbing fit, but dad seemed to understand and hugged her daughter to himself, rubbing his hand on her back, trying to sooth her emotions.

‘Okay, sweety pie, enough of the tears for today, first your mother then you, I’m a man not a napkin.’ – Rey reluctantly wiped at her eyes with the hem of her shirt and smiled up at him. ‘Get settled, change, and come downstair when you are ready. We always have dinner together, and Ben is arriving soon, I believe.’ – he said and patted her head then slowly left her room and the sound of the door closing made this whole day even more real.  
Rey stared at the door, then around her room, closed her eyes again one more time and took a deep breath. That was her dad comforting her, this was her own room and more importantly she now had a family, and they were going to have dinner together. 

Happily, she walked to her bed and lied down on the white and green delicately patterned sheets with small ivy leaves on them, it was soft, smelled like mom and she noticed she even had a small pillow with her name embroidered on it. They wanted her and they wouldn’t give her back, no, this time she found her true family and she would do everything to make them love her just as much as she already loved them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for Slow Burn - to hell.  
> Love you all <3

After a quick shower in the bathroom (which was nearer the staircase, to the right of her room) she wrapped herself up in a soft blue towel she found next to the stall, and just stared at herself in the bathroom mirror for a minute. Her face was less scrawny now, she concluded, which was probably a good sign, but still not healthy for a girl her age.  
Her freckles were still staring back at her, how she used to hate them because the others always mocked her about them, but now she saw a girl with new life in her eyes and knew that her parents loved her with her imperfections. That’s why they chose her. She still couldn’t believe it though, they were so perfect and she was far from the ideal daughter. Didn’t know how to be one yet.

She quickly wiped her face with her hands and smiled faintly at her reflection. Everything would be alright from now on she reassured herself, just try to be the perfect daughter and do not disappoint your family. They were everything she could have asked for and more. if she didn’t leave her faith in miracles or fairies back when she was five years old, she would have thought all those wishes finally reached the ears of the magical creatures.

Now, at fifteen, everything seemed to become brighter again.

One day her parents showed up at the orphanage with Ben, and were seeing at least a dozen children at the time and still they chose her. She didn’t even know why, sadly there was nothing exceptional about her. Throughout the little interviews they asked quite a lot of questions from Rey too, and she politely answered each one as best as she could, not that there were many interesting things to share about her life. Han and Leia were really patient with her and tried to make her smile with stories of their own adventures back in the day.

She sat there, not daring to maintain eye contact for long with any of them, despite all their efforts. Especially Ben’s gaze felt penetrating.

His was not exactly the most calming presence with his frightening build and dark clothes. Rey couldn’t even describe how tall he looked, she knew no one that came close to his height. Seemed like he stepped out of a fairy tale: the quiet, good-hearted giant. He did not speak throughout the whole interview, but when one of the questions about her past, about her birth parents made her tear up a little, he gently put one of his big hands on hers and told her that she didn’t have to be alone anymore. His hands were warm. So warm. Rey felt that he might be a kindred spirit and that maybe he wanted to be her brother.

Han and Leia were also very kind to her and hugged her when they left.

The next thing she remembered that they adopted her right away after that. So, she was here in their home, about to go to her first family dinner downstairs. She quietly exited the bathroom and made her way to her room still in thought. Maybe that’s why she didn’t notice Ben’s presence first and ran into him in the hallway. He was apparently back from school now and was about to head down to the dining room. His room was wryly opposite of hers, so it would’ve been hard to sense his arrival.

‘Oh, hi… You are here.’ He said with that deep voice of his and steadied her by the waist. Oh, great, our official first meeting as siblings and I have to be in a silly towel and about to fall over. - Rey thought. He wore a black shirt looking like she remembered him, but with casual black sweatpants instead of jeans.

‘Hey, B-Ben, I…I’m here. S-sorry for this, I didn’t mean to…’ – She trailed of, ashamed of herself.  
He looked very calm as usual, not a bit bothered by her stuttering, and he still had his hands on her waist. How thoughtful of him. Her towel was not the most elegant thing she could wear for this important occasion, and not the most uh-stable piece of clothing.

‘No problem sister. I’m glad that you are finally here.’ – He looked down on her with his dark eyes, which were not so sad now as she remembered them to be back when they first met. In fact, they looked more lively. His voice seemed less softer than before though.

‘Oh, I…thank you. I’ll go get changed and see you downstairs. I hope mother won’t be angry that I am a bit late for dinner. Please tell her I’ll hurry.’ – Rey said and stepped out of his warm embrace reluctantly. Or was it him who was reluctant?

Back in her room she chose a blue tank top and a puffy white cardigan from the wardrobe, and comfy black leggings to go by, and noticed that there were cute furry slippers by the foot of the bed, so slipped into them too. Her parents really went all out of their way to make her feel at home. Her hair was thrown into a messy bun, reminding her of the messy past. Old things die hard.

Arriving In the kitchen she saw mom make the last touches of the dinner and dad gave her a quick kiss on the temple. Still wearing his trademark leather jacket, wow, how cool. He grabbed a bottle of water and beer of the counter and headed to the dining room. She joined him with a smile and chose the seat beside Ben, who was already seated. Ben got up and pulled out the chair for her, before she could do it herself. Rey was very surprised but thanked him quickly enough. Huhh nobody did that for her in the past before.

Han smiled at them, standing beside the table and said: ‘Oh, I see that my son still has manners. Make sure to always be there for your sister, Ben, and that’s a warning.’ – he playfully pointed the corkscrew in his hand toward him. Rey didn’t even notice he pulled up some wine too. ‘Don’t let her get in as much trouble as you landed in back then.’

‘Of course dad, I won’t let anything to happen to Rey. She’s my sister.’ – Ben said with so much conviction that Rey gasped inaudibly. ‘Besides, I’m much older now, and still you try to control me. Not nice, dad.’

‘Oh, come on, kid, let your father worry a bit, you are no fun.’ – now Han sat down too.

‘T-Thank you.’ – Rey stuttered quietly and before she could contemplate what she did, touched Ben’s hand on the table for just a second, then quickly withdrew it. ‘It means the world to me to have you.’ In that moment Leia – mom- she reprimanded herself, she was her mom, it was just still a bit unusual to refer to them as her parents, walked in with a big bowl of pasta salad and additional 2 glasses in her hands.

‘Oh Rey sweety, I hope you’ll like it, I meant to ask you what you’d like to dinner, but our grocery options were limited. I was planning to do the shopping today, but with all the paperwork at the orphanage… But Ben loves it, so I hope you will too.’ – She said while handing Ben his plate back with a substantial amount of the delicious looking dish.

‘Of course, everything looks fantastic, thank you mom.’ – and handed her the plate before her. Her smile was simply radiant, and Rey couldn’t stop adore her mother for her kindness. After this exhausting day still making dinner instead of takeout.

They took their first bites and Ben immediately said that it was even better than last time. ‘I won’t ever get tired of this sauce mom.’ - he added after the first bite. 

After, Dad shared what happened at work the day before with some weird guy dressed as a furry beast saving birds at the local park, and they all laughed. Rey wondered if he was weirdly affectionate towards animals or a bit mental. They would probably never know. The world was just crazy, you can never knew what to expect from people.

Ben told them about his day at school tol. It was a long day for him, even though mom told him three times in like 2 minutes how proud she was of him, how good his grades were. But he spent less time with them now unfortunately. Ben really was a genius in her parent’s eyes and now in Reys too. He had a great future ahead of hím. Learning about people’s minds and how to cure them seemed like a handful, but Ben was really patient. She could already tell he will be a great doctor.

She just nodded when she did not understand something he was referring to, but none the less was happy for him.  
‘This little girl here will be just as successful as you are, Ben. I’m sure of it.’ – Dad said while slowly opening his third beer for the night. Beer seemingly complemented dinner really well. And wine too.

‘Rey, sweety, are you nervous to go to school? I know it’s not the same as you used to go, but Ben attended this one too. Should be a great experience. In fact, he still goes there sometimes to help out, coaching, you know. Anyways, tomorrow we will go and get some stuff for you so you’ll be ready for school the day after. How does that sound, dear?’ – Mom asked excitedly.

‘That sounds lovely, thank you mom. But I don’t want to burden you any further, I ‘ll manage without new things. Maybe just some pens and a couple of shirts would be enough.’

‘Oh Rey, don’t be silly. I’m your mother and if I wanted to spoil my baby then I would. We’ll get all the essentials and a bit more just for the sake of your childhood, and for the heart of your mother.’ Leia said smiling, not taking any more objections. Dad and Ben agreed immediately, saying they indeed needed the treat. Ben even squeezed her thigh under the table reassuringly.

‘If you say so, I’d love to spend time with you mom. Thank you.’

Ben kindly offered to take them. Leia was a bit surprised but agreed gladly, and Rey, well she’ll do anything (even if it was “just shopping” for most kids) to spend time with her family. She never got new things in the past before anyway, so whatever they decided to get, she would be truly grateful for it.

She put her small hand on top of Ben’s to make sure he knew how much all this meant to her.

‘Oh, look at you all, I’m already feeling left out of the family bonding time. Am I too old to go with you lot?’ – Dad joked and ran his fingers through his stubble. ‘I know, I know, I have a few white hairs, but come on. Leia, must I be this openly neglected?’

‘Hhaha, Han. You’re not getting younger that’s true, but as far as I know you have to be at the station as usual. Those officers of yours wouldn’t survive an hour without you, darling.’ Dad just nodded, took another sip of his beer and laughed at that. ‘Damn sure. Okay, you have my blessings.’

‘So, what about a board game for now folks? Rey, you ever heard of The Settlers of Catan?’  
~  
The rest of the evening they played, laughed, and Rey never felt more at ease. They were all sitting on the living room’s thick brown carpet now, and Ben was nice enough to help her with the rules. He even let her sit between his legs so that they could both see the cards and decide about the strategy together. It felt really good being near him. Their parents thought so too, because they couldn’t stop smiling and mom took like fifty pictures about their “first family night”.

It was hot enough in the living room by then apparently, because Ben gently took off her sweater, lazily touching her shoulders and arms by the process. Rey was fine with the sweater on, but he was of course the older and wiser. He knew the rules of the game and he knew the ways Rey’s mind worked, even before she knew it, so it was no surprise he helped her with little things too.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning mother decided that they just had to have a mother-daughter bonding morning-off. Rey was woken up early by a gleaming Leia pulling the curtains to the side in her bedroom. The light filtered in through the round window and she yawned, then smiled up at her mother. She wore a warm purple sweater and a white blouse under it, her hair in another beautiful updo. So put together.

She brought up a small tray filled with breakfast goods and put it on the nightstand beside Rey’s still sleepy head. Hmm she didn’t even hear her come in. Last night they really stayed up a tad too late.

‘I made some pancakes for my little girl. So bathroom then eat. We don’t wanna waste the day, do we? Hurry up, sweety.’ – Rey shrugged of the blanket as fast as physically possible and practically jumped up from the bed. Hugged her mother tightly before heading to the bathroom: ‘Okay mom, I’ll be back in just a sec.’ 

After the real quick morning routine of a fifteen year old girl, she settled at her desk with the full plate mom made. Banana pancakes, which were the best things Rey ever had, littered with berries and a bit of syrup. Yum. She was a girl with a sweet-tooth and mom didn’t even have to ask what she liked, wow. Was she even real?

Leia smiled and patted her back when she kind of moaned out loud after the first bite. Definitely better than those soggy buns with a touch of PB back at the orphanage.

Mom sat in the armchair while she ate, and the whole time she chatted about what she planned for the day. Which sounded like a lot.

Then she offered to do her hair for the day, starting with brushing her hair. The outcome were three cute little buns. It was unique, and she loved it. ‘I will always wear my hair like this, it’s awesome mom.’ – standing before the mirror, Rey never felt this girly before, and mom patted her head when she was done observing her new look. 

Mother said that with just Ben around she was left out of these motherly duties, and now she got to do them. ‘Finding you was truly a miracle, my sweet girl.’

She cupped her face in her hands. ‘Oh, you look simply stunning. This smile of yours – she tapped the tip of Rey’s nose - is what your old mother lives for. And these freckles, so-so innocent. Oh God, look at me, all teary already. Don’t tell Dad, he doesn’t like when I cry before others.’ – she sniffed a bit then laughed lightly. 

‘Mom don’t cry. I know tears are sometimes necessary, but I’m here now and I won’t go anywhere.’

‘Ahh, you’re so right sweety. I dunno what came after me. Just emotional that you’re finally here.’ – Rey hugged her again to make her feel how much she adored her no matter what.

‘Umm, so… what should I wear mom? ‘– speaking about clothes and things like that always cheered her mother up, so it seemed like a good diversionary maneuver. And she was right: with that Leia was back at her earlier self, picking out things from the wardrobe and holding it up to Rey’s front. Wow, they really went out of their way to provide her. So many clothes in that wardrobe and she still wanted to get her more. 

After putting on a light yellow halter dress her mother insisted looked perfect on her and warm white stockings, she was ready to go. She grabbed a small jacket too, it was very chilly outside yesterday. Better be safe. 

‘Don’t forget making your bed, Rey.’ Mother told her when she was almost out the door. Oh, the bed. She had to make her bed first. She was so excited almost forgot about it, but mother reminded her in time. 

All proper young ladies have to keep their rooms in perfect order. Mom told her that yesterday night when they came upstairs after the game: ‘It was so good to see you and your brother be so close to each other already. But to beat us like that? I played that game at least a hundred times already.’ – she laughed, and kissed Rey’s forehead to say goodnight (not the least bit “bothered” by her win by then). But she noticed the few clothing items Rey wore earlier scattered on the bed and she frowned and leaned back from the hug.  
‘Rey darling, you like being my daughter, don’t you? Well, my daughter has to behave like a proper young woman no matter her current age. Keep your room organized, don’t just throw your things around . Do not dare disappoint me, sweety.’ – her hand still resting on her upper arms.

‘I- uh, sorry Mother. I promise I won’t.’ Who was she to throw things around anyway? Ahh, first mistake. Parents do not like mistakes she reminded herself.   
She knew better than to make mistakes, they cost too much. So she quickly made the bed, arranged the little cushions in the exact way they were when she first stepped foot in the room.

Mom looked very pleased. Good. Do not disappoint.

~

Leia drove them to the nearest mall and decided in the car that they should buy some new shirts, some jeans, gym clothes and underwear along with a backpack for school. Ben had to go somewhere first, so he couldn’t accompany them as he promised. Rey felt very sad about it but didn’t want it to affect her mood, since mother was so-so enthusiastic. 

Trying on underwear was weird at first, given the fact that Rey had never done that before. At the orphanage they were all given plain white cotton ones each, and the Matron was very strict about keeping them useable as long as possible. Bleach. She still had those in her small suitcase back home. 

But this was different, and mom seemed pretty open-minded about lingerie, because she made Rey try some very indecent looking ones, at least in Rey’s eyes. But they were clearly just regular ones, mother knew these things better than her obviously. The nice lady at the shop helped them pick out pieces since she knew mom. Small town so lots of acquaintances. 

Either way, Rey ended up with like a dozen new matching sets proudly carried by mom, all of which were lace or some sort of silky material. She liked having to try new colors; blue, pink, red, dark green, even black. Rey felt really shy while her mom and the lady picked out the pieces, but in the end, it felt really natural, like they had been doing this for a long time. 

The changing rooms were probably bigger than most rooms at the orphanage. They both fit into one without any trouble, the pile of things included.

~

‘Oh, honey, I’m so sorry we didn’t find you sooner. Your ribs are so visible when you stand like this, and how scrawny your legs look. God. What did they feed you at that horrible place? Light?’ – that was the first thing mother said after she saw her figure with just her plain undies on. 

That’s why Rey was reluctant to go shopping in the first place. She was no model or anything like that, always ashamed of herself, her body. Magazines always freaked her out. How could she measure up to normal girls?

‘I’ll try to eat more, mom, I promise. I’m just… not used to it.’ – Mother put the pile of clothes on the little bench behind them and sighed. 

‘Sweety, you should. But… Ben likes you this way. Don’t change too much, those things make him upset. And you don’t want to make him upset. Your brother always comes first, never forget that. Let’s try on this red one first.’

It seemed weird to Rey how she brought up Ben suddenly. What does he have to do with it? Surely he doesn’t like her malnourished body. She didn’t understand, but mom pushed the first pair of lacey bra and panties in her hand, not even letting Rey to say anything in reply.   
Oh well, at least it was nice to hear that mom thinks Ben likes her. Maybe he’d like to see her new things as well. 

It gave her confidence to put on all these pricey stuff despite that she clearly doesn’t need them. Will they make her look any less fragile and broken?

~

After the exhausting try-ons – shirts and even bags included -, her mother thought it was time for lunch in a small Italian restaurant near the mall, and Rey was more than happy to oblige. They were walking there with bags still in hand, and halfway Rey noticed that Ben was waiting for them on the street near the restaurant. He towered over everyone on the busy street in his usual attire: black with black. Shocking. He was on the phone.

How did he manage to look so frightening and calming at the same time, even while making a phone call? 

His hair was a bit messy from the wind and his trench coat was not done up. He probably wasn’t human Rey concluded, it was really cold today. When he noticed them walking towards him, he hung up and smiled widely.

‘Mother, sister, I hope you had a wonderful time. Sorry I had to skip the fun part.’ – he hugged Rey almost immediately then kissed her mother on the cheek. 

‘What did you force on Rey, mom? Quite a few bags, I see…’ – Ben scolded her mother playfully. ‘I hope it was not entirely unpleasant for you Rey, our parents are very headstrong individuals, to put it nicely, they will always have their way in some way or other.’ 

‘Oh son, don’t be like this, can’t a mother indulge her daughter once in a while? We bought some new shirts, a bag and lingerie for your sister.’ Rey blushed at the bluntness but remained quiet.

‘Interesting.’ – Ben replied grinning and run his hand through his hair. Windy day, long hair. Best or worst combination?

‘Shall we?’ – he pulled open the door for the ladies, and the three went inside the small restaurant. There were not many costumers lingering in there, still a booth in the far back corner was mom’s choice of sitting. Rey sat down opposite her and Ben slide in beside her, close enough that their thighs touched. Felt really warm after her thighs were pretty much frozen despite the warm stockings. Rey didn’t know if their thighs position was inappropriate or not, but probably not. Ben didn’t even notice it, not made a move to remove his. 

His arm came resting on the edge of the leather covered seat behind her head. Mother’s gaze was so proud looking at them. Do not disappoint. Rey could tell she was dreaming about them having lunch together like this for God knows how long. Shared memories were precious.

Ben ordered for all of them when the waiter came. While waiting Rey asked: ‘And how was your day, Ben? I really missed you today. But if you’re tired or anything, you don’t have to accompany us.’ 

‘Don’t be silly Rey, I’d love to. My day was boring as hell, lectures all day, nothing important. Couldn’t wait to finish’ 

‘Oh Ben sweetheart, I’m so glad that you could make it here. I was beginning to worry because I have to get back to work. Amilyn just texted. Sorry, sweety. Patients are very demanding sometimes. Mr. Palpatine won’t let the younger nurses to tend to him. Very picky old guy, he was admitted yesterday.’ – Mother sighed.

‘I will watch out for Rey, I promise. It’ll be fun. Just the two of us. You still have some places to go, do you?’ – he asked, touching her shoulder affectionately. Rey understood that mother needed to go. She worked at the local hospital as head nurse, so her job was very demanding. It was a miracle she could stay out this long.

Mom looked a bit concerned for Rey, feeling bad about leaving her and their mother-daughter day behind. 

Ben’s words made Rey’s heartbeat quicken, because this will be their first official time alone. Publicly brother and sister. And she really didn’t know how to act the right way. He was always really nice to her, speaking to her softly and not distancing himself like she first thought he would. He felt more at ease when she was around. 

She smiled up at him shyly. ‘We’ll have a great time. And make sure that man is in good hands, but I’m sure he just likes your company and you don’t have to worry ‘bout him.’ – she laughed lightly.

‘Sure he is, who wouldn’t?’ – said Ben. 

‘Who ordered the lasagna folks?’ – their waiter arrived back to their table with three full plates, balancing them graciously on his arms.   
‘Oh, it’s for me. Thank you, young man. Smells incredible.’ - Leia’s mood already cheered up when both of her children received their dishes too, and they could eat in relative peace. The restaurant was thankfully not full of people as the ones in the mall. One of her favorite classics was playing at the background. Still the best small family-owned business in their neighborhood, Leia thought.

After they ate, she waved goodbye, leaving Rey and Ben alone in the booth. 

‘So, what did you plan to do, sis?’ – he asked when he was finished with his ravioli. Rey was still struggling with hers. Not that it was not delicious, but she was just halfway done and already felt so full. Fortunately, Ben didn’t force her to eat, instead pulled the cup of water the waiter brought with him earlier in front of her.

‘Can we go to the store and pick up some school supplies? Maybe a few groceries. Mom mentioned it, and I don’t think she will have the time to pick ’em up later.’ - Ben was still very close to her and it filled her with a strange mix of comfort and nervousness. ‘If it’s okay’

‘Yeah, sure, let’s get out of here. I was about to strangle the waiter if he puts this song on again.’ - He left the money on the table without any tip. Hmm, Rey didn’t understand why, maybe because she was so nervous, even speaking was hard while he was this close. Listening to what was playing in the background was not something she could channel energy into. Was it really one song on repeat? Nothing distracting.

She just laughed weakly, standing up, Ben helping her put on her coat and they were out the door. He grabbed her hand in one of his, the other casually carrying the bags, and lead her to his car parking just a few meters away.

When they were in his car and managed to pack all the bags in the spacious trunk, he said: ‘You look different. I mean your hair is different.’ Rey didn’t know if that was a good thing or not, but he added: ‘I like it. This way no one got to see it left down and wild. Just us at home.’ - He squeezed her knee and started the engine looking at the side view mirror while putting the car in reverse.

‘I.. yeah, mom did it. Is it too childish? I really like it.’  
His right hand came to rest on her thigh, stroking her through her stockings, but didn’t answer her question. The touch seemed reassuring though, if not a bit scolding. 

Maybe even asking that question was childish, looks are just… looks, not that important anyway.   
When they pulled up at the supermarket, he got out first and opened the door for her. A real gentleman, just like dad. He was always so proud of Ben when he did small gestures like this. 

Once inside, Rey grabbed some basic thing: cheap pens, some notebooks (from recycled paper, they were a bit more on the expensive side but totally woth it) and pencils of course. Drawing without them would be difficult and Rey loved to draw or paint. But drawing was easier, especially if she son’t have anyone at school to talk to.  
Ben insisted to buy her a pen which was like a little red sword (Rey saw it as a crest, but Ben said teasingly that she must be blind then). It was way more expensive than it probably should be, but he really wanted to buy it for her, and she gladly accepted it. Maybe something with puppies would’ve been better, but that wouldn’t be something that reminded her of him, so…

After a quick detour to the sport aisle, she quickly showed some shorts and two sports bras in their cart. Ben seemed annoyed when he spotted what she got, so he selected some longer yoga pants and T-shirts instead. ‘These are way to revealing Rey, not something you should wear at school.’ – he said while he pushed the items she selected back to the shelves. She apologized. 

At the orphanage they always wore this kind of stuff, but apparently it was not something her new school approved of. Lucky for her that Ben was there to guide her choices.  
Reaching the end of the aisle Ben suddenly reached over her head and snagged a black hoodie off one of the top shelves. It had a little red heart on it on the front. Warm and practical.

‘If you wear this, I’ll be there with you and you won’t be alone.’ – so thoughtful, Rey felt it before, but now she was certain that he was meant to be her big brother. Because her biggest fear in the world was being left alone, again. 

She could survive earlier, but if he were the one who left her, she would be broken forever – she though suddenly. That feeling really scared her, so she quickly snuggled up to him. Buried her face in his broad chest. Hmm, he smelled like dark chocolate and coffee.

‘Thank you, Ben. You don’t know how much this means to me.’ – he smiled and threw the hoodie into the cart leisurely. 

He paid for everything even though Rey said it multiple times that mom gave her some money to spend on necessities since they picked up quite a lot of groceries too. He just patted her head and grinned. ‘As if I would let you buy your own presents. What kind of a man would I be, hmm? Be a good girl and pick up that gum for me there, and I don’t want to hear another word.’

~

They made it back at home a little after dinner time and mother was still not home yet. Dad welcomed them at the door, Ben with a handshake and a backslap, Rey with a hug. It was a bit tricky since he had a beer in his hands, but Rey was extra careful not to spill it out. Dad just loved to drink and was always in a good mood. All parents were like this, not a big deal.

‘Your mother’s still not home kids, so I ordered pizza. On the counter (he motioned behind him). If you want some, take it upstairs with you. I think I’m going to bed grandpa-time for today.’ - he winked at Rey.

‘Yeah, like you won’t be waiting awake till mom comes home. Sure, dad. ‘– Ben rolled his eyes and Rey chuckled, then tried to mask it off with a light cough. 

‘I didn’t hear ya son. My hearing isn’t the same as it use’ to be. Whatever, I hope you had a great day though.’

‘Yes, it was amazing dad. I’ll show you what I got tomorrow.’ – Rey jumped up and down excitedly.

‘Okay, little angel, you better. Good night for you two. Don’t stay up too late.’ – he said and kissed Rey’s head.

They both bid him goodnight, snatched a couple slice of pizza and some water from the fridge then went upstairs. Ben carried her bags in one hand going straight to her room. He suggested that they should shower first and since they had just one bathroom on the upper floor, he politely offered Rey to go first. He put all the bags down near her wardrobe. 

Tomorrow she really should pack out and organize things just as mother told her to. 

For now, she grabbed her towel and slippers hastily. She showered record fast and got herself wrapped in the same fluffy towel. Hmm, still like a warm hug. It didn’t even occurred to her that it would be more appropriate of she brought her pajamas with her as well. 

Her pajamas were also new – mother purchased them for her today-, so they were still in one of the bags. Forgotten.

Going back to her room she was immediately met by Ben’s lingering gaze on her skin. He was seated on her bed with his hands in his lap. He was so big, that her not-that-small bed looked like a child’s version in comparison. 

His gaze roamed over her in an odd, but not uncomfortable way. Must be that it was the second time she was in a towel and not something more presentable outfit parading before him. ‘Umm, I’m ready, it’s yours now. Sorry, presenting you my towel appears to be my thing now.’ – she blushed and lifted her right hand to gesture to her “evening gown”. 

He didn’t say anything, just got up carefully, not ruffling her sheets and walked past her slowly. ‘Be back in five’ – he said right into her ear. Or was it just she who felt everything   
he said or done so close all the time? Like he was in her soul or something, sharing the same space all the time.

‘Get into your pajamas and we’ll watch a movie. We don’t wanna be lame like dad, do we?’ Then he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!

Her new pajamas were waiting for her in the biggest bag with three other shirts folded under them carefully. A little high-waisted white short paired with a light brown tank top (with the cutest big-eyed little creature she has ever seen looking back at her). She thought that she might’ve seen it before on TV, but she couldn’t place it exactly where. Something with David Attenborough maybe.

After putting it on quickly, she nervously wandered over to the TV facing her neatly made bed, taking up quite a bit of the wall. Just, wow.

Uh, how should she wait for Ben? Maybe switching on the TV for starters.

She didn’t want to munch on the pizza either, not until he returned ( that would be utterly rude), but the huge flat-screen TV seemed like a bigger challenge to navigate than she was capable of just now. They never had those at the orphanage to be honest, just older models with remotes that had a maximum of 10 buttons and not like a hundred this one had. She grabbed it but put it back down almost immediately. How many functions can be stuffed into such a little device anyway?

She backed away from the TV and sat down on the bed, feeling anxious. Oh Rey, it’ll be fine, don’t freak out, he won’t punish you or anything not turning on the TV. So she just flopped her legs onto the bed as well, sitting cross-legged, hugging a little cushion to her.

‘Hey, you look a bit tired, little girl. Exhausted much?’ – Ben was standing in the doorway, his hair a bit wet and messy from the shower, leaning against the doorframe casually. He wore black sweatpants with no shirt on. No. Shirt. On. Rey looked up at him, but the moment she realized he forgot to put a shirt on, she blushed and looked down, embarrassed. She was not supposed to see boys without shirts, brother or not. She knew that. It was one of the things they first learned at the orphanage. But Ben didn’t seem to be bothered by the lack of shirt, nor made an attempt at finding one as he made his way to get the remote, then plopped down beside her.

When he touched her knee for a sec to get her attention, she realized how zoned out she must have looked. Just answer his question, Rey.

‘Oh, no-no, it was one of the best days of my life, Ben. And I love everything we got. Can’t thank you enough.’ – she smiled up at him and awkwardly leaned in to hug him by reflex. Then realized her mistake instantly.

‘Oh, I-I’m sorry. I know I’m not allowed to touch boys – she hastily spit out-, I’m just so glad I have you.’

Ben was a bit tense at first while she hugged him she could tell, and Rey definitely had a moment of regret.

Maybe he didn’t enjoy their day as much or was offended by her touching him. The Matron never really did explain what was the reason behind the no touching rule. Probably it would’ve been explained later on this year, but with the adoption she was out before that could’ve happened. Maybe later. Probably in school they’ll mention it.

But Ben slowly put his arms around her finally and engulfed her in his warm embrace. It felt so reassuring. Nice. Perfect.

‘Hey, what are you talking about? You can definitely touch me. But NO touching other boys, you’re way too young for that.’ – she could feel his hand coming up to caress her hair and giving it a tuck at the last sentence.

The buns mom made were now just a gentler reminder how nice things usually never stay too long with you. She really hoped her family won’t become one of those things. His fingers brushing over her locks found the stuck-in hairbands and pulled them out as gently as he could. ‘Sis’ – he said on that deep voice of his, ‘your hair looks kinda like a nest now.’ – he chuckled. ‘But a cute nest, don’t worry. Could even do with a lot messier’

She looked offended for a second out of pretended hurt, but then laughed with him. ‘Hey!’ – she hit his arm playfully. It felt so good to being able to laugh with someone. She didn’t even know how long she wanted to have a connection to someone to enjoy a shared laugh. Not as awful when you were the one who got laughed at. Just less stress simply, like not wanting to cut your wrist less.

‘So how would you like your pizza? Cold… or cold?’ – He smiled and Rey couldn’t help but nuzzle into his chest a bit more. How could not touching be good for anybody, she wondered.

‘Cold it is then’ He grabbed the pizzas from the desk and placed each one onto Rey’s lap. ‘Come on, sis, me and these pizzas are really eager to start this night. Remote?’

Rey pointed at it laying abandoned on her desk from her earlier undecidedness which button to use (he didn’t have to know about that), then she carefully leaned back into the backrest. But this time really trying not to evade his personal space any further. She didn’t want him to think about her as clingy or annoying.

It was really hard to resist since it felt natural being near him. He didn’t seem to notice her slight unease though, just settled down beside her, pulling one of the plates onto his lap as well.

He chose some recently came out movie on Netflix. Wow, she heard that it had many movies and series and you can choose whichever you’d like basically anytime, but it still surprised her nonetheless. She wanted to browse a little and see what they’ve got, but Ben didn’t ask her or offer. He picked something and with that simple move tucked Rey closer to him, to his broad shoulders and still uncovered torso and abdomen.

The pizza almost landed on her sheets, but fortunately she had great reflexes. Clearly doing sports since little was life-saver sometimes, because she could imagine mother’s reaction to the ruined sheets. Not going there. Was she that unforgiving with dad’s wine stains as well?

Anyway, xercise clearly did Ben good too. So many muscle were not just from genetics.

‘I really like your new pajamas sis, feels very soft.’ – He said after they finished their late dinner and put his hand on her shorts, then rested it on her barely short-covered left thigh. ‘Very soft’ – she blushed a bit at that. How many times can a girl blush without being a tomato?

He gently pulled Rey between his legs after putting the plates aside, so now her back was to his chest, her head still not reaching his chin even while sitting. Sadly, they wasn’t sharing the same genetics. Or not sadly. Being petite had it’s own perks, sometimes. Not in the orphanage though.

‘I think this way is more comfortable. It was a long ass day. Feels nice to just relax.’

His hands was now on her upper arms, stroking her skin with slight up and down movements.

‘Hmm, you smell so nice, baby, like strawberries and vanilla.’ He never called her baby before. The affection in his voice told Rey that he was really comfortable now, she could feel his mouth near her pulse point on her neck. Rey closed her eyes, trying to conserve the moment and the compliment.

‘Oh, it’s just the body wash mom gave me. Comes in a cute cupcake-shape with pump. And you smell nice too.’ – the last sentence she said unsurely, not wanting to confess how much his sudden closeness affected her. Was he supposed to have this much effect on her?

She was surrounded by her brother’s whole presence, his masculine scent lingering in the air and his hands slowly moving to the hem of her top now and kept going upward. He placed his left hand on her lower abdomen, then slightly grazing upwards toward her tummy, dragging her tiny top with the movement. She opened her eyes at the sensation of his long fingers caressing her bare skin.

‘Um, Ben, I don’t think... you shouldn’t…’ – he paused and turned her head to face him so suddenly it hurt a little, at least compared to his earlier ministrations. She wondered if this was how all brothers cared for their sisters, with such gentleness and vehemence at the same time. Maybe he just got carried away. He must be exhausted. She was too. What time was it anyway?

She just didn’t think he should be touching her like that. Under her shirt, that is. In her mind siblings don’t do things like that. But with how much darker his eyes got at her uneasiness, maybe she thought wrong.

‘What were you going to say, sister? You don’t like being touched by me, is it?’ – his touch felt more like a heavy weight pressing down on her now, sinking into her soul, filling her up with awful, new kind of dread. No. No. No. What did she do? He sounded mad and disappointed.

‘I’m really tired after all the shit at school and buying all those stuff for you’ – his speaking became slower, and each word felt like a stab to Rey’s heart.

‘Ben, please, I didn’t mean anything, I just… with your hand… I-I..’ – she couldn’t even say the words she thought. They felt horrible on her tongue, like “hey I just thought that you shouldn’t touch me?” How stupid that sounded. He was her brother for God’s sake.

‘Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’ – she felt tears welling up in her eyes. The next thing she knew is that Ben moved behind her, now both his muscled arms were around her small midsection, tugging her closer to him even more. She could feel his heartbeat and the heat radiating off of him seemed blazing now.

‘Shhh, baby, I forgive you. I know I can be a bit.. impulsive when it comes to family business. Now you’re part of my family. You just don’t know how to fully be a part of it yet, but I’ll help. You’re not alone anymore.’ – he kissed her neck then laid more little pecks lining the side of her neck right alongside her carotid artery.

‘Whatever crap they fed you in that hellhole of a place, it’s not what defines you. You have to let it go, all the rules and bullshit they told you. Let it all die. We’re your family now and I am your brother. Just listen to me and everything will be alright, baby.’

She turned her head to the side to give him better access to her neck. Everything.

Everything he said, about the past, was true. So much was buried deep within her soul that it was hard to distinguish between what was wrong and what was right. But as she felt his teeth graze her delicate skin and his hand roam over her abdomen, she knew that Ben will do anything to make sure she knows she has a family now.

‘Enough of the crying Rey. Just stop. We should rest.’ – his hand was on her neck now, his palm covering almost all of it.

‘Let me take care of you. You have so much to learn.’ – then he stood up from behind her, and Rey felt a sudden urge of dread at his absence. Was he going to leave her? Was this such a huge mistake? She was such a failure.

With her eyes still watery and a bit puffy, she glanced up at him with clear fear in her eyes. His hair looked disheveled, and he must have sensed it because he ran his fingers through it. To tame it, even if just for a while since his unruly locks often moved at their own volition.

‘You are truly a miracle from God. I knew it when I first saw you. We were meant to be together Rey. Two lonely souls finding each other.’ – he squatted down beside her bed, so she turned facing him laying on her side. He touched her hand and kissed it tenderly.

‘Let’s create our own rules. First one: you can touch me, and I can touch you. It’s only natural. Okay?’ – she nodded eagerly, and his hold tightened around her slender fingers. His eyes narrowed and Rey rushed to emphasis her agreement in words too. Huhh, better.

‘And rule two: We slept apart for far too long not to share a bed when we’re finally together. Yours is just a pretty little gem I got for the sake of mother, but we’ll be sleeping in mine from tomorrow on. For now, this’ll just have to do.’ – he stood up and lifted Rey up with him like she weighed nothing, positioning her on the bed after lifting her ivy-patterned sheets up, covering her. He scooted over and buried his face into the nape of her neck. His hand claiming its rightful place on her hip, making small circles under her shirt. Skin touching skin.

Rey’s earlier tears remained on her cheek with a few unshed one in her eyes accompany them. Neither she nor he made any effort to remove them. They were only natural.


End file.
